D.P.S.C.D.P.S.C.

The Character Universe

Fourteen characters. One club.

The behavior is fictional. The archetypes are not.

Five master archetypes. Find yours, then meet whoever lives inside it.

The Framework

The Five Archetypes

You're one of these. So is everyone you're thinking of right now.

The Anti-Corporate Bro archetype cover
01Master Archetype

The Anti-Corporate Bro

Hates the machine. Runs the machine.

Leverage, adrenaline, and a grievance with process. Leaves every quarter. Renews every year.

See who's in this crew →
The Martini Capitalist archetype cover
02Master Archetype

The Martini Capitalist

Dry powder. Wet martinis.

Deals happen between the first idea and the third round of commentary. Lunch is a strategy.

See who's in this crew →
The Luxury Neurotic archetype cover
03Master Archetype

The Luxury Neurotic

Downside protected. Sleep is not.

Structures everything, worries anyway. Owns the good coat, reads the footnotes twice.

See who's in this crew →
The Newsroom Narcissist archetype cover
04Master Archetype

The Newsroom Narcissist

Raises money. Sells the narrative.

The window is always open if you squint. Quotes himself back to the room, calls it consensus.

See who's in this crew →
The Social Auditor archetype cover
05Master Archetype

The Social Auditor

Says nothing. Notices everything.

In stealth, on every list. Keeps score quietly. Confirms nothing on the record.

See who's in this crew →

The Full Fourteen

Recurring Characters, By Archetype

The full roster, grouped under the archetype each one answers to.

01The Anti-Corporate Bro

Back to archetype
Margin Call Mitchell — The Leveraged Soul
08The Character Issue

Margin Call Mitchell

The Leveraged Soul

The market takes. The broker takes. Life takes.

Collateral is a state of mind. Sleep is overrated.

Carry Chad — The Upside King
06The Character Issue

Carry Chad

The Upside King

I don't work for money. I work for carry.

Twenty percent of the upside. One hundred percent of the ego.

Desperate Broker Dealer — The Deal Chaser
02The Character Issue

Desperate Broker Dealer

The Deal Chaser

The deal is still alive. Allegedly.

Pipeline rich. Revenue poor. Spiritually closing.

02The Martini Capitalist

Back to archetype
The Martini Capitalist — The Lifestyle Investor
12The Character Issue

The Martini Capitalist

The Lifestyle Investor

Dry powder. Wet martinis.

Deals close somewhere between the first idea and the third unnecessary opinion.

Family Office Frank — The Allocator
01The Character Issue

Family Office Frank

The Allocator

Generational money. Questionable decisions.

Old money. New moves. No urgency.

Liquidity Larry — The Exit Enthusiast
07The Character Issue

Liquidity Larry

The Exit Enthusiast

Liquid today. Regret tomorrow.

Knows the exit. Loves the secondary. Always de-risking.

03The Luxury Neurotic

Back to archetype
Preferred Equity Phillip — The Structured Guy
09The Character Issue

Preferred Equity Phillip

The Structured Guy

Downside protected. Ego intact.

Senior to none. Excited by coupons.

Convertible Debenture Dan — The Optionality Guy
10The Character Issue

Convertible Debenture Dan

The Optionality Guy

It's a bond. It's a call. It's complicated.

Down today. Convert tomorrow.

DCM Dave — The Debt Markets Guy
03The Character Issue

DCM Dave

The Debt Markets Guy

Yielding under pressure.

Fixed income. Variable sanity.

04The Newsroom Narcissist

Back to archetype
ECM Eric — The IPO Optimist
13The Character Issue

ECM Eric

The IPO Optimist

Raises money. Sells dreams.

The window is always open if you squint hard enough.

EBITDA Eddie — The Number Adjuster
04The Character Issue

EBITDA Eddie

The Number Adjuster

If it's adjusted, it's beautiful.

Reality is overrated. Add-backs are spiritual.

05The Social Auditor

Back to archetype
Soft Launch Steve — The Stealth Wealth Guy
11The Character Issue

Soft Launch Steve

The Stealth Wealth Guy

In stealth. Always.

Nobody knows what he does. Everyone knows he's rich.

M&A Mike — The Dealmaker
14The Character Issue

M&A Mike

The Dealmaker

Can't tell you. Won't stop implying.

Strategic process. Redacted feelings. Everything is confidential.

Capital Call Carl — The Fundraiser
05The Character Issue

Capital Call Carl

The Fundraiser

Call today. Wire tomorrow. Maybe.

Commitments aren't cash. Relationships are the real IRR.

Different characters. Same club.

Not financial advice. Just expensive opinions.